"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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