never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
