if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
