Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
