Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
