is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
