if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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