Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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