Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You are the jesus of drinking
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
