Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
