have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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