you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
