If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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