I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
