Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up under a house in Key West
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