What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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