we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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