cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
