i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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