Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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