its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
