Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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