He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
