I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Randomize
