too bad you live with your parents still
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
