they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize