The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
