If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
