Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
