Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
