Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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