I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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