I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
