The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
