i just wanna soil my oats bro
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
