I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
