somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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