I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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