I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
