shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
