Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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