ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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