Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
