kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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