Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
