He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
