i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
