Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
