I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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