What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
