is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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