i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize