He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
