'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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