careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need a beard to bite.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize