yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
