u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
