help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
