You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You've changed since you got that strap on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
