I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize