is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
