did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize