Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
