What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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