so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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