The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
